An "Outing" Today

As most of us do in this lifestyle, we live much of it inward-facing. We have our vanilla lives that the great majority see and know, saving these special places for very few. Today that changed for me, and I am glad that it did.

I have a work colleague of many years. Because of the type of business we are in, our work group often travels together, and we "live" more closely with them as we move around the world. She and I have always been close because our jobs are intertwined and we rely on each other to complete our work. She is "small but mighty" (sounds like someone else I dedicate my world to?), and I would call her a powerful woman. A force in our tribe and one of the clear leaders next to me at work. As I mentioned, we have always been close, but in a familial way, not as attracted to each other. She is married and happy in her relationship and I think I am a safe outlet for her in a crazy world.

I have wanted to tell her for months about my Mistress and the fantastic relationship we are developing. I have no one that I can be completely honest about it. I have lived my submissive self in the shadows all my life. It is something I accepted a long time ago, and honestly, I think the close quarters make it even more special. Very few will ever know the depth of my submissiveness. Not because I am ashamed but more because few would ever understand. With encouragement from my Mistress, we decided I should tell Lauren, who it is that actually leads me.

I was nervous but wanted to share my bliss (just like a high school kid). Lauren and I will spend some time on days off together. Usually just coffee or maybe lunch. Today, it was coffee. My heart was pounding as we walked over to a local shop in Boston. I'd told Mistress that I was nervous, and as always, she calmed me and led me - 

"I am a little nervous."  

"Don't be. You know her. She seems pretty legit. Just be yourself."  

"I just don't know how to start it?"  

"Go with. I just can't hold it in anymore. I'M IN LOVE!" 

Then leaves me with -  

 "I'm getting on the road myself. But I'll have my phone the entire time. Just be the amazing person I know you are. The conversation will happen just as it was supposed to. And wear the white cage. 🤍"

"Yes, Mistress… I will still tell you when we are about to go in, and maybe you can help:)! Do I tell the whole truth about how we met, or do I make something up?"

"Truth is always best!"

"Yes, Mistress."

As always, Lauren gets the table, and I get our drinks. I sit down, and we are just people-watching for the first few minutes. New town, new faces, we've been doing it for years. I get an alert that Mistress has texted and look down to see 

"I'm here." which, of course, brings a massive smile to my face.

Lauren responds with 

"Who is that?"  

"... a girl" 

 Then came the questions. "Who is she, what is her name, where did you meet her..."

I explained that we met about a year ago on Fetlife. She had never heard of it and asked what it was. She is so Alpha, it was almost like demand! I explained that it was like a Facebook for alternative lifestyles, and she said, "For gay people?" I told her no, and well, maybe kind of yes, but it focuses on kinky people overall, Not just LGBT stuff, and I was getting a little shy about it. She kept saying, "Kinky?  What do you mean kinky? Define kinky" I think I just stammered "BDSM" or something. I was a little mumbly... scared. She said something about Sadomasochism that told me she knew the term. I said yes, that lives there too and listed a few other things off, including Dominant and submissive people.  She chimed in with bondage and discipline (again, clearly not a new term to her); I said people with very specific kinks like leather and other sensation things. I think she got a little annoyed that I was kind of dancing around it a bit; she asked. 

"Where is your kink in all that? Are you into dominating women?"  

Not like meanly, but she is an outspoken feminist and think she was ready to get on her horse and let me have it. I did mention that there are women who enjoy that, and that was ok (we often spar about having different opinions, with me saying it's ok and her more like what I am saying is the only answer)

She asked again, "...so you like dominating women?"

I said, "No... the opposite, actually."

She gave a "what?" with a look of disbelief and threw in a "you?' and started laughing. I explained that I am submissive to my Mistress and that She is my Dominant. She still thought I was messing with her. She asks if this was a "sex thing"? I told her that in any relationship that is part of it, but it is much deeper than that for me. I said I feel safe with my Mistress to be who I authentically am and that She has more of the societal male-type role in our relationship if you were looking at it traditionally. I said I've always been attracted to powerful women (of course, she beamed, "like me!") and that I know my role is serving women, especially Her. She tried to define serving on her own and was pretty much off base

She thought it meant getting food and drinks (like I had just gotten her coffee). She sidetracked and started asking how old She was, where She lived, etc. I brought it back with, 

"I am literally Hers, like literally." I said, "She owns me." 

She still didn't get it, and she said something about "women own all men."  I think that is where I got my point; I said 

"you are correct; the difference is that I crave it, enjoy it, and it makes me whole." 

She stared at me for a bit... and said 

"...you? Like the J, I know. That makes no sense!" 

She said something about a double life; I said 

"no, this is as true to who I am as I have ever been!" 

I told her I had never felt so attached to anyone in my life and had never been more content. She smiled at that and said 

"I am happy for you." 

I told her that my Mistress is also Professional Dominatrix, 

"so you pay her?"

I laughingly said yes...

"With my devotion

my commitment

and my love."

I then explained the difference between professionalism and lifestyle and told her I have always been on the lifestyle side with my Mistress. She was a bit stuck on the fact that I was submissive to anyone but did say something like 

"...well, you do treat me differently, I have always noticed."

"And you are a pretty dominant individual, and I even see that in how you treat your husband."

She smirked,

"I am the one in charge!"

She stayed pretty vanilla throughout it but pressed me on what is that I do that is submissive. It was an easy response for me... "EVERYTHING." I did say something about picturing me as a trad wife (a term she knows and hates) with some naughtiness built in. I explained that I enjoy making her life easier, whatever that encompasses. Dishes, laundry, cleaning, yard stuff. I really seemed to have her attention when I mentioned that I help Her dress, bathe, brush Her hair and massage Her at will.  I also mentioned that Her dominance over me affects me emotional and physically.  I feel every ounce of Her power, and pleasing Her "excites" me, like physically excites me. I explained she was the only one I had shared any of this with.  I think she liked that!

I know this seems like a post about something that happened to me, but inside, I feel it is a celebration of my Mistress. I feel good because I am not ashamed of what we are or who she is to me. I have never been more proud to be led and owned by someone I want the world to know. Even if that meant her leading me down the street, collared, naked, and caged, I would willingly follow (btw, it would never happen because it lacks the consent of those watching).

I am not worried that Lauren would like out me or anything. I said it is hard to explain and that if she wanted, I would share the social media stuff to make it less awkward for me if she was interested... she is, I think... we shall see where it all goes.