Submissive Heartbeat

I woke up this morning with an incredibly deep desire for Her.  I’ve been thinking about it because “desire” doesn’t really seem like a big enough word for what I was feeling. Of course there is a physical part of it. A very real one. I wanted to be close to Her. I wanted to touch Her, feel Her, take my time appreciating Her body and make Her feel desired. But there was something underneath all of that. Something deeper. I didn’t just wake up wanting my Reason. I woke up wanting my Domme. There is a difference. I think submission has changed the way I experience desire. Maybe it has just allowed me to understand something about myself that was always there, but either way, my attraction to Her has become tied to this incredibly strong need to please Her. That’s the part I sometimes struggle to put into words. It isn’t just I want You. It’s I want to make You feel good. I want Her pleasure. I want Her satisfaction. I want that feeling of knowing that for a moment I have completely f...

Love is beautiful, but it is rarely tidy. It becomes especially complicated when two people bring old wounds, unusual circumstances, distance, demanding work, and a power-exchange dynamic into the same relationship. Sometimes love feels effortless. Other times, it brings every insecurity you thought you had buried directly to the surface. As a submissive man, my instinct is often to make myself easier to love. I want to be steady. Useful. Devoted. I want to bring peace into Her life rather than become another responsibility She has to manage. When difficult feelings begin building inside me, I tell myself to stand taller, stay quiet, and be grateful for whatever I am given. I convince myself that expressing fear is selfish. I tell myself that a good submissive should not need reassurance. He should not become jealous, overwhelmed, or emotionally messy. He should endure discomfort gracefully and avoid placing his emotional weight at his partner’s feet. But silence is not always strength...